The importance of self-care

If you’ve ever been through any kind of therapy or counselling then you’ve probably heard the term “self care”. If not you might have come across it on the internet among mental health related online communities. Practising self care is taking actions in order to improve or maintain our health and well-being. It can take many forms, from obvious acts such as washing, eating right and taking your prescribed medications, to more abstract ones such as creating art, taking part in meditation and healthy self talk. In this post I’ll be talking about my preferred methods of self care and how I put them into place.

It’s important to note that once you get into the habits of self care it’s not always a conscious decision to take part. Often I find myself worried I haven’t done any acts of self care, only to find that actually I’ve done several things without realising.

Physical acts of self care are literal in the sense that without these basic tasks I will start to become unwell very quickly. These include taking care of personal hygiene, drinking enough fluids and eating the right amount. In the throws of a deeply depressive episode I have been known to hide under my covers, avoid showering for long periods of time, binge eat and drink next to nothing. I think back to psychology lessons about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and how humans must have the basic physiological needs met in order to complete the psychological needs further up. If you don’t have food, water, warmth and rest then you can’t possibly start to think about mental health and relationships. One of the first things I do when I start to feel unstable is ask myself three questions. Am I thirsty? Am I hungry? Am I tired? If the answer to any is yes then there is a physical action I can do to try and correct it before it gets too bad.

The other type of self care are the things you usually have to make a more conscious effort to do. These are activities that relax you or enrich your life. Their effectiveness will vary depending on your personality and mood.

• Creativity is one of my main methods of self care. It provides distraction and also relaxation. Making music, creating characters and backstories, baking or simply colouring are things that I find therapeutic. Obviously I also have my blog, but it’s often important that self care is for you and only you. The pressures of creating something “good enough” shouldn’t factor in.

• Reading is a brilliant means of escapism for me. I really am able to completely lose myself in a good book. It’s almost like I’m taking a break from my own life and experiencing other worlds.

• Meditation, yoga and mindfulness are probably the methods of self care you’ve heard more about. Meditation and mindfulness encourage you to clear your mind, focus on the present and allow your thoughts to simply pass by instead of taking over. With yoga you learn to channel your breathing and pay more attention to the way your body feels as you stretch and pose. I find these methods really good at stress busting in particular.

• Pampering yourself in the way you prefer does wonders for the soul. I find a relaxing soak in the bath gives me the opportunity to pause the world around me. Even if it’s only for half an hour. If I’m really feeling overwhelmed I can light some candles and put on quiet instrumental music. I let myself sink down under the bubbles and just feel the warmth around me.

• Letting your emotions out is very important for a healthy life. Often we hold it in, scared that if we don’t people will judge us for being overly sensitive. Holding it in is probably the worst thing we can do. There are ways of letting our emotions out in a safe space. Crying is okay. Punching your pillow in anger is alright. We can show emotion and still be in control.    

There are many different ways of looking after ourselves and it often takes a bit of time to find what works for you. My advice would be to just go ahead and try everything. The worst that can happen is it doesn’t work first time and you need to go and find a new method. Also there are plenty of lists online of things you can try.

Not taking part in self care can actually be a sign that things are breaking down. If I’m feeling stressed and tired, but have noticed I’m not looking after myself properly, then I get an early warning that my mental health might be taking a dip. Noticing a decline means I will be able to put things in place in ensure it doesn’t spiral out of control. Often increasing the self care means I can avoid a break down if I really put my mind to it.