I learned about wise-mind many years back, in an Emotional Coping Skills class. I had an understanding of it, but I wasn’t able to use it effectively. This was probably because they didn’t really show us skills to achieve it. Re-learning it in DBT this time around has been a godsend; we’re only 3 sessions in.
Wise-mind comes under the Mindfulness DBT module. Mindfulness is an acute awareness of the self in the present moment. It’s vital to DBT as it teaches us to recognise our emotions, without judging them. Wise-mind runs off the theory that there are two states of mind that everybody naturally experiences.
Reasonable mind - Rational, cool, task-focused
Emotion mind - Mood dependent, hot, emotion focused
Both of these states have a purpose. Reasonable mind allows us to do tasks such as: giving directions, building furniture. But, if we are always in reasonable mind then we are seen as cold, fact focussed and nonchalant about the emotions of others. If we are always in Emotion Mind then we can allow our emotions to take over and make unwise choices, like numbing our pain with drugs/alcohol, shouting at our best friend, or even being driven to self harm. Emotion Mind is not all bad. We can use it to feel empathy or create art, literature and music.
Emotionally sensitive people often find themselves in Emotion Mind. As we feel our emotions so intensely, the ways in which we behave in Emotion Mind can be extremely self-destructive. Personally, I used to try and correct this by completely shutting down and forcing myself into Reasonable Mind. All this did was push the emotions down, ready to pop back up later with no warning. Also, it caused me to dissociate heavily, to the point where I wouldn’t get anything done.
Balance is key. There exists another state within us, that if we can access it, will give us more control. We call this state Wise Mind. Wise Mind: sees the value of both states, allows us to take a step back, allows us to make carefully thought out decisions, and lets us walk the middle path. Wise Mind is really where we want to be making choices/decisions in life. Walking this path we can look at how we feel, what the facts are and how to best proceed. Practicing Wise Mind has stopped me from saying hurtful things to others, or from hurting myself in highly emotional situations.
So how can Wise Mind be accessed?
The best way I’ve found is to take part in a Wise Mind or Mindfulness activity. My favourite one so far, is the simplest:
Breathing in, say in your head, “Wise”; breathing out, say “Mind.”
Focus your entire attention on the word “Wise”, then, focus it again entirely on the word “mind.”
Continue until you sense that you have settled into Wise Mind.
How will I know when I’m in Wise Mind?
It can be difficult to describe the feeling, because it’s different for everyone. Personally when I’m in Wise Mind, I feel a sensation of calm (zen - if you’re used to meditation), and I see the decisions I was going to make in a different light. I am able to rationalise my thoughts, but also to respect my emotions and not shut down. Often I get answers in Wise Mind that I didn’t want, but I know it’s because my impulsivity is trying to pull me into unhelpful situations. And so, I can react in a healthier way.
Now this doesn’t always work. Often I find myself overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts during the practice, but it’s about recognising those feelings and accepting them, before trying to refocus your attention. It’s important to know that mindfulness skills require a lot of practice. The DBT skills training guide recommends that you practice the skills when you’re actually not in need of them. This is so when you’re in an emotionally charged or pressured environment, they will be almost second nature. It’s all fine and well knowing the skills, but if you can’t use them they aren’t really much good.
The method that I use to access Wise Mind isn’t going to be useful for everyone, so I'll include some more methods I’ve been taught in another dedicated post.
