Hi all.
I hope you’ve had a good holiday period, and if it’s been tough then I hope you can find some time for your own health this January.
As for me I’ve really had a long, long year of it. Living with BPD is definitely an ongoing struggle, year by year, but this one has felt particularly rough. I started off 2019 in the biggest breakdown since the first one that lead me to the BPD diagnosis in 2012. I was admitted to hospital and had to take 3 months off work. I really thought my life was going to be over and I was going to end up out of work and lose my flat. The whole year after was spent trying to recover and trying to prevent it happening again. Myself and my partner put all our efforts into trying to get me Dialectical Behavioural Therapy. We knew it was the recommended therapy for BPD and I’d heard of so many people whose lives had been changed by it. Without it we knew my life would continue to be at risk from suicide attempts. It was worth fighting for. In September I slipped up again. The desperation was getting to me.
I’m happy to announce that I am now starting DBT this month! Part of me is so relieved, but the other part won’t believe it until I’ve been to my first session. Blame it on the trust issues I guess.
The year has been a bit of a roller coaster, but I’ve held on for dear life. I’m still going to be posting here. And I’ve got a yearly reflection coming up very soon; plus more in the works for 2020.
I don’t have any new year's resolutions per se, but the goal is to keep improving and to keep on posting. I wish you all good luck in the new decade and hope you’ll stick with me.
Out of Darkness. Xx
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