During various stages of my struggle with BPD, professionals have told me to stop. Stop overreacting, stop self-destructing, stop harming myself, just stop. My response has always been how? Most of them couldn't tell me, but the rest of them gave me weak solutions such as, make a cup of tea, go for a walk, have a bubble bath. Now I'm not saying that these are completely unhelpful, but they are not meant for that moment in a crisis when you are about to engage in a target behaviour. They fit into the category of soothe and distract, which I'll be showing you another day. What I needed in this moment are what we call TIPP Skills.
TIPP Skills are different from soothing and distracting yourself with baths or walks. They're practices that are proven to actually change your body chemistry. For me this has now been a life saver several times. I was shocked that no one had ever taught me to do any of these before, so I wanted to share what I've learned.
Use these to reduce extreme emotion mind fast.
Temperature - The ice dive is the TIPP skill that works best for me. What I would advise you do is get a bowl big enough to put your face in. Fill it with very cold water and if you have it, put a bunch of ice in there too. You need to put your face under the water for 30 seconds, coming up for air ofcourse! What this will do is activate your dive response which slows your heart rate and helps 'shock' you out of that mental state. It's not going to get you out of crisis, but it will give you a chance to use distractions and soothing. If you don't like your face being under water then you can get a cold can or some ice in a bag and press it against your wrist for 30 seconds.
Intense Exercise - This can help to calm your body down, when it is revved up by emotion. The DBT manual suggests 30 minutes of exercise. This could be an exercise video or just a mixture of star jumps, sit ups, squats and whatever else you can think of. For most people just walking isn't enough, if you're capable go for a run. If nothing else, this will distract you for a bit.
Paced Breathing - This exercise slows your breathing and therefore can be helpful if you're panicking. Breathe deeply, slowing your breaths. Exhale for longer than you inhaled e.g. 4 seconds in, 6/7 seconds out.
Paired Muscle Relaxation - Whilst breathing in tense up your muscles. Focus on your body as you release the tension whilst breathing out. Notice how it feels. You can do this throughout your body e.g. tense the muscles in your hands and release, then tensing your arm muscles, shoulder muscles etc.
As I mentioned earlier, TIPP Skills alone will not be enough to get you through your crisis, but they give you a fighting chance to use other skills. Next post we'll be looking at creating a care package to aid in using soothe and distract skills.
*Consult your healthcare provider before using the ice dive or doing intense exercise if you have: a heart or medical condition, a lowered base heart rate due to medications such as beta blockers, an eating disorder.
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