Self-worth is a topic that resonates strongly with many people with disabilities and mental health conditions. It rules the way you see yourself in relation to the world around you. Increasingly it seems to be about whether the skills you bring to the table can make someone money. I want to talk about where these attitudes are coming from, why they are harmful and what we can do as a society to combat this.
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
A question that most of us were asked from a very early age. When you’re 7 years old you can answer this anyway you like. I mean unless you wanted to be Charizard… yeah I was a weird kid. By the time you reach secondary school however, it all sort of slips out of reach. I remember at age 13 I told my mum I wanted to become a writer. All I ever did was write; stories, diaries, music and poetry. I loved to read and spent my time escaping into Harry Potter books and the Darren Shan Saga. Imagine my disappointment when my mum discouraged me because ‘it wouldn’t make me any money.’ Our society often discourages music, art or creative writing, saying it should only be for the elite; the best of the best. What she and others said to me about this, kicked my confidence enough that I dropped the idea of a writing career and didn’t show my writing to anyone for years after. To this day I still don’t show my fictional writing to anyone. As I got older and was asked to make decisions about my future, I tried not to think about what I really wanted. When pushed I would talk a little about creative arts and I was always discouraged with, “don’t you want to have a career?”
By the time I got to college I was completely aimless. I took A levels in psychology, biology, philosophy and photography. Why? No idea at all. I just wanted to find something people would be pleased with. The thing about studying subjects you’re only mildly interested in is you’ll probably do badly in them; which I did. The point I am trying to make is: At some point I knew what I wanted to do, but because it wasn't seen as profitable, I abandoned my dreams at age 13.
I don’t blame my mum or the school careers advisors at all. They were only trying to help me out in the best way they could. They were teaching me exactly what they were taught; what most of us are taught. Our society mocks those who create, because it’s seen as being a ‘cop out’, like we’re just trying to avoid ‘real work’ that makes money. People rarely see art as a career choice. It’s not only the arts though. How often do you see people in roles such as cleaners and fast food workers laughed at for not earning enough? Who was told at school that if you didn’t work hard you’d end up flipping burgers? Certain jobs are seen as ‘better’ than others; causing a divide between these workers and those earning more. It creates an ‘us and them’ mentality, and I'm not sure that's entirely an accident. Conspiracy theories aside, we also live in an era where most people don’t have a lot of time to appreciate art. When money gets tight, we know that the creative arts are the first things to go.
So why should we encourage creative arts in those who love them? Firstly, everyone starts somewhere. We have no idea of the talent we may have discouraged. You can only become good at something by practicing. It's important we teach children that they don’t have to be the best at everything in order to succeed. Believe me all that does is lead to anxious and overly eager to please adults, who think they have to fight to the top of the pile to be accepted and loved. Secondly, art and music does wonders for mental health. Doing something that brings you fulfilment, enjoyment and gives you a way to express yourself, can never be a bad thing. Thirdly, self esteem. Creating a piece of work that you are proud of can really make you feel in control of your life. Like you have worth, which is so important in a society that constantly questions it.
What can we do to combat this idea that the only worth comes in the form of money? Mostly it’s about taking small steps to encourage ourselves. To go beyond what people are saying we should do and really taking a long hard look inside. If you want to draw, paint, sing, act, dance, or even write a blog, then do it! Don’t think about the money, because money isn’t the route of all happiness. Currently I make no money from what I do on here, but I love it. I can share my experiences and reach out to people I never usually could. It’s also therapeutic for me to be able to express my thoughts and feelings. It’s easier to write it down than to speak with someone face to face. Another thing we can do is to teach our families, friends and children that not everything can be bought. We can stop making fun of people with low income jobs and stop treating their roles as a punishment for not working hard enough at school. Bring your children up in a world that respects differing abilities and teach them this:
You don’t have to make money from something for it to be worthwhile.
