For most of us who live with BPD, we understand what it is like to be figuratively standing on the edge. The call of the void convincing us to just take the leap. Whether that comes in the form of drinking until we can't think, engaging in self-harm or screaming vicious words at those we care about. Often we don't even realise there is a moment where we have a choice. That's where the STOP skill comes into play.
As the first Distress Tolerance skill we learn in DBT, we can use this to help prevent us acting on strong impulses and urges. The STOP skill gives us the option of choice and control. It allows us to think about using other skills to manage our emotions.
Many of the skills in DBT can be easily remembered using acronyms. This includes STOP.
Stop - Freeze! Do not react.
Take a step back - Take a break. Let go. Take a deep breath. Do not let your emotions make you act impulsively.
Observe - Notice what is going on inside and outside you. What is the situation? What are your thoughts and feelings? What are others saying or doing?
Proceed mindfully - Act with awareness. In deciding what to do, consider your thoughts and feelings, the situation and other people's thoughts and feelings. Think about your goals. Think of short and long term consequences.
I've actually had to use the STOP skill a few times so far. The ongoing Covid-19 situation is affecting most of us. I'm not surprised I've found myself on the edge more often than usual. I'm very lucky that I've managed to get into a DBT group to learn these skills this year, because I needed them now more than ever.
My next DBT Skills post will be about showing you what actions you can take to bring yourself back after you've stopped yourself from slipping over the edge.
